Written by Cybill Vargas

August 12, 2026

My Reflection While reading It’s Okay to Not Be Okay, I found myself thinking about something we all know, but sometimes don't want to accept: the people we love will eventually die. Knowing that doesn't make losing someone any easier. But it also shouldn't keep us from loving deeply.

One of the things that stood out to me from this book is the idea that when someone we love dies, we don't have to figure out how to “get over it.” Grief isn't something that needs to be fixed. It is a natural response to losing someone who was important to us.

Grief can bring a wide range of emotions. You might feel sadness, anger, confusion, loneliness, or even moments when you feel okay—and then suddenly find yourself hurting again. I think it's important to remember that there isn't one right way to grieve.

When someone we love dies, our life changes. We may eventually learn how to live with the loss, but our life may never be exactly the same. Part of grieving is figuring out what our new normal looks like.

This part of the book also made me think about my work as a therapist. One thing I've learned is that I don't always have to have an answer for someone's pain. Sometimes helping means simply being present with someone while they are hurting.

We often want to fix things for people we care about. We want to make their pain go away. But grief isn't something we can fix. Sometimes the most meaningful thing we can do is sit with someone, listen, and allow them to feel what they are feeling.

Maybe that's one of the hardest things about grief: accepting that we can't change what happened. But we can give ourselves permission to grieve, to feel, and eventually to learn how to live with the loss.

For me, this book was a reminder that it's okay to not be okay. We don't have to rush through difficult emotions just because they are uncomfortable. Sometimes we simply need to give ourselves—and each other—the space to feel them.