Written by Cybill Vargas

October 9, 2026

While reading Bearing the Unbearable, one thing that stood out to me was how the loss of someone we love stays with us forever. Losing someone changes who we are. That change can affect us in different ways. For some people, grief may lead to personal growth or a new appreciation for life. For others, the loss may bring struggles that are difficult to navigate. There is no single way to experience grief, and each person's journey is different.

One idea from the book that I especially loved was doing something for others in memory of the person we are grieving. I appreciate the idea that we can honor someone who has passed away through simple acts of kindness. We might do something anonymously, tell someone why we are doing it, or write down the reason as a reminder of the person we have lost. In our own way, we are keeping that person's memory alive.

What I love most about this idea is that it allows us to turn our love and memories into something meaningful. We cannot bring our loved one back, but we can carry a part of them forward through the things we do. A small act of kindness can become a way of honoring who they were and what they meant to us.

I also appreciate that this practice encourages us to remember the person while giving us an opportunity to help someone else. Sometimes, when we experience loss, we may feel helpless because there is nothing we can do to change what happened. Doing something kind in that person's memory gives us a way to express our love and make a positive difference in someone else's life.

This is an idea I would like to put into practice in my own life. I find comfort in the thought that remembering someone does not have to be limited to looking at photographs or thinking about the past. We can also honor them through our actions in the present.

My biggest takeaway is that love does not end when someone dies.

Although our relationship with that person changes, we can continue to honor their memory through the kindness we show others. In doing so, we create opportunities for their memory to live on in ways that are both personal and meaningful.