Let’s talk about emotions

Written by Vargas Consulting and Wellness on March 16, 2024

Emotions are a normal part of our everyday life. Just think about how many emotions you felt today. Was it overwhelming? How did you handle them? How many times did you feel happy, surprised, sad, angry or fearful? Emotions are reactions we experience in response to events or situations. For example, a person may experience anger and bitterness when they are passed up on a position at work. Having these feelings is fine, accept that this is what you are feeling. But go further. Acknowledge your emotions and process why you are feeling this way. Then, get to work. Become curious by wondering what you can learn from this situation. Are there any changes you need to make? What did you learn from this process?

Emotions can affect our daily lives as we tend to make decisions based on how we are feeling. Although you may not believe it, your emotions are one of the things we can control with a lot of practice. Everyone has a have a choice. Going back to the first example, When I was passed up for the position at work, I could have behaved bitterly, I could have been gracious and congratulated the person who got the job or I could have had no reaction to the situation.

Sometimes, you may not even realize that you are not in touch with your feelings until someone tells you. When this is the case, it usually stems from your childhood. If it is not safe for you to express your feelings or if it is not something you saw others do, it makes sense that you are not in touch with your emotions or you simply choose not to express them.

Did you know there is a such thing as positive and negative emotions? Positive emotions can be cheerful, satisfied, affection, tenderness, desire, or happiness. Examples of negative emotions can be annoyed, enraged, frustrated, nervous, timid, worried, stressed, spiteful, bitter, jealous guilty, or lonely. If you experience negative emotions, use a coping skill to deal with that emotion such as exercise, meditating, journaling, listening to music, watching a funny video, painting, drawing, or any other healthy coping skill. Here’s an exercise: Imagine you find yourself angry because someone cut you off on the freeway. Identify the emotion and they use coping skills immediately. For example, I would identify my emotions, (anger) safely drive to my destination, talk to a friend about what happened, or watch a funny video (coping strategy).

Learn to identify your emotions. A way to practice each day is to focus on how you are feeling and name the emotions. Begin to learn more than just your basic feelings such as mad, sad, happy, angry. Google a variety of these emotions and keep them close so you can look at them and identify how you are feeling throughout the day.

Keeping feelings hidden or ignoring your emotions can make you feel crummy. When you do this, you may feel that it is not safe to express your feelings. It may lead to unhealthy ways of coping, such as substance and alcohol abuse, physical abuse, overeating, negative relationships, problems at work, and angry outbursts. Here’s an exercise: Imagine you are upset with your boss. Name the emotion and begin to process why you are upset. What happened? What was the situation? Your emotions may be a sign that you need to address the problem. So, work on problem-solving. Figure out what the problem is then work on different ways you can address it.